SlackJawed Midwesterner

2009-08-07T23:29:00.001-07:00

Brian Baird Phones It In

If you haven't heard, the story's here.
I have one rule when I have political discussions with my friends. The first one that makes a Nazi reference loses, regardless of party affiliation or position taken in said discussion. In refusing to meet in person with his constituents regarding health care reform, Brian Baird had to bring the Nazis into it, and so Brian Baird loses. That he slandered a plurality of his constituency while refusing to meet with them is merely a bonus. I sincerely hope that Brian Baird loses his bid for re-election in 2010. To that end, I will knock on doors for and support monetarily his opponent in the Democratic Primary. If, God forbid, he wins the nomination, I will knock on doors for and monetarily support his Republican opponent. I understand that as soon as he is voted out of office, he will head immediately to K Street, where he will become a lobbyist and cash in. That's fine. It's a small price to pay to remove him from a job that he doesn't deserve anyway.

2009-05-07T22:02:00.001-07:00

McCOTTER IN 2012

Hop on the bandwagon now. CafePress merch is here.

2009-04-10T18:07:00.000-07:00

My First Bona Fide Portland Moment

I've been here almost three years. I love Portland. We moved here because moving to Austin, Texas (where I had previously lived for 8 years) just didn't work out. We picked here because it was more like Austin than any other place we had ever been and it is so breathtakingly beautiful. People by and large are friendly and open. So I knew what I was getting into when I moved here. I can take pretentious. Pierced, post-modern precociousness bores me. It's the price of doing business. Today was a special day, however. Take the worst, most arch stereotype of a Portlander you can imagine. Take the most obnoxious stereotype of the French that you can think of. Mix thoroughly. And multiply by X. There's a French bakery in town called Pix Patisserie that makes the most amazing macaroons I have ever put in my mouth. Period. Angela discovered it and brought some home for Valentine's Day, and they are unlike anything I have ever eaten. Although I've never actually been there, I was in the general vicinity today and thought I would pick some up and surprise Angela.

I call: (And I wish I could convey the petulance, condescension and almost liquid putrescence of the voice on the other end of the phone.)

'Hi! Can you tell me how to get there from Janzen Beach?'
(3-4 seconds of silence) 'I don't drive a car.'

'Oh. Well can you tell me how to get there from I-5?'
(3-4 seconds of silence) 'I don't what any of the exits are.'

(3-4 seconds of silence) 'Um, is there someone else there that can help me get to where you are?'
'No.'

I blacked out at that point and woke up on the shoulder of the freeway a few minutes later.

I've added a link to Pix Patisserie because they create truly amazing things there. Ignore the human skidmark that I had the misfortune of dealing with today. And get a maccaroon.

2009-03-06T15:35:00.000-08:00

Get your Tea Party Gear!

April 18th--Vancouver, WA

Lawn of Clark County Courthouse, 11am to 1pm

or find a party closer to you.

Inspired by the words of Andrew Breitbart. Get your gear here.

2009-02-06T00:59:00.000-08:00

Mount Hood from Salmon Creek

This is about five minutes from my house.

2009-02-06T00:36:00.000-08:00

Kids' Napkin Art

I take requests from my kids and draw on the napkins that go in their lunches. The napkins fall into two distinct categories: My son likes guitars, superheroes and video games. My daughter loves puppies, princesses and other girlie things, but her latest obsession is My Meebas-little plush figures that for some reason fall under the Barbie umbrella.

Mario with Les Paul

Meeba #1

2008-10-03T23:43:00.000-07:00

ME:1 THE MAN:0

I contested a ticket in traffic court this morning, and this is the judge that dismissed it. Was it my soaring rhetoric? My masterful oration? Actually, the traffic cop failed to show, but a dismissal is a dismissal.

2008-10-01T01:20:00.000-07:00

Sean drawing at the kitchen table. No, his right hand wasn't mangled in a farm accident.

2008-09-02T23:03:00.000-07:00

NW 8th and Everett, Portland Oregon

2007-01-16T17:14:00.000-08:00

1.16.7

Woke up to roughly 3 inches of snow today, which meant that life as we know it in the Pacific Northwest ground to a halt. What is normally a 45 minute commute blossomed to 2 1/2 hours, so I had plenty of time to actually finish a drawing. People who know that I came from Minnesota assume that I have nothing but scorn for the way people here drive in snow. I do, of course, but a) I don't tell them that, and b)Minnesota is basically a flat, featureless parking lot. I'd like to see them try to drive out here.

2007-01-12T01:16:00.000-08:00

1.10.7

By the time I got to the spot where the traffic is at a standstill long enough for me to finish the drawing,(generally between the Delta Park and Janzen Beach exits on I-5, just south of the Washington state line)it was completely dark. It's a little more interesting doing this in the dark and in the rain. I'm not sure what a self-portrait of me going through the windshield would look like, but by God, I smell a grant in there somewhere.

2007-01-07T23:10:00.000-08:00

Commuting, Part 1

When I started this thing, the idea was to document my new home in the Pacific Northwest with drawings, photos, thoughts, etc. The hardest part has been finding time. Since I spend 1.5 to 2 hours daily commuting to my job in Beaverton (West of Portland, 26.8 miles one way) I'll be doing my drawings behind the wheel. I was behind this Intrepid Friday afternoon at 4:40 PM. The overpass above is the Delta Park exit, which is the second to last exit heading north before you cross the Columbia River and enter Washington.

2006-11-05T23:13:00.000-08:00

My Last Minnesota Landscape

Well, that's that. My last Minnesota Landscape, an anniversary present from a good friend for a good friend has made it to it's new home safe and sound, and I can officially close the book on the Upper Midwest. It was a good place, inasmuch as I met Angela there, got married and had the two greatest children in the world. Having said that, well that's all I have to say about that. Mom asked me a couple of weeks ago what I miss most about Minnesota and I have to say, at the risk of sounding like a smartass, family notwithstanding, I don't miss a thing. Well, I miss Jeremy and Michelle and James and Sarah, but not enough to question the move out here for a second.
Now I can focus on work here-which should be interesting because
a. I've got four jobs going on right now and
b. I think we've just entered the rainy season.
Love will find a way, however. I now have a line on my own show in the Pearl next year, and I need to restock. This should be fun.

2006-10-08T01:29:00.000-07:00

Sean's Soccer Field
The place where the Vancouver Tornadoes lace 'em up and play out the human drama of athletic competition every Saturday. The people you see in the drawing are actually parents and spectators on the field between ours and the treeline on the horizon. Visualize Sean's team in the foreground-a tumultuous, throbbing mass of 7-year old humanity rumbling back and forth from one goal to the other. If this were an Andy Capp cartoon, they would be a big churning cloud of dust with the occasional foot or fist sticking out and little stars radiating out with squiggly lines. Actually, that description is becoming less accurate as the season progresses. The boys are actually figuring out the game and are beginning to pass the ball and be aware of some of the other small complexities of the game.

In fact, Sean scored his first goal today.

Look at that. Takes my breath away. Thought I was going to cry when he scored his first goal. Not because I'm a frustrated middle-aged Dad trying to live vicariously through my children and not because I'm a hyper-competitive sports Nazi who pushes athletic achievement at the cost of all else. I was just proud of him for sticking with it. We have been extremely supportive, but we've let him find his own way. I haven't pulled out the riding crop and the jodhpurs and silver Patton helmet (well, not with Sean and not in the context of soccer, but that's another post), but Sean's mind has, shall I say not always had soccer (or t-ball or basketball or any other of the sports he's played) front and center. And that's fine. And today it was all worth it because he stuck with it and scored his first goal. It was also nice that the Yankees are out of the playoffs and that Alex Rodriguez went 1 for 14 and had a batting average of .071 in the ALDS. But that's just icing.

2006-09-28T01:28:00.002-07:00

I-5 Bridge over the Columbia River from McMennimans (sp?)

Had a nice dinner at McMennimans on the Washington side of the Columbia. Well, actually, had a nice time is more like it. Service was negligible and my Ahi steak sandwich was flavorless and cold in the middle, but the location made up for it. That, and being able to sit across the table from Angela and next to Molly and Sean, who were in full entertainment mode with their newly created sock puppets Edward and Dunkinx. (Guessing on the spelling-Molly's three and a half and, while she can spell her own name, we're having to spell her puppet's name phonetically.) More on the puppets soon.

2006-09-25T00:13:00.000-07:00

Well, here they are-the reason for everything.

We didn't pack up and leave Minnesota just so we could take them on daytrips to Seaside, Oregon, but right now, I have never missed Minnesota less. An hour and a half down the Sunset Highway to dip your feet in the (okay,frigid) Pacific with your beatiful wife and wonderful children on a drop-dead gorgeous Fall Sunday is about as good as it gets. Slackjawed Midwesterner, indeed.

2006-09-23T22:59:00.001-07:00

Mount Hood from the I-5 Bridge, Oregon Side

The pencil is pretty smudgy, but I'm still working through media details. It's more about getting info down on paper. I was trying to make the most of my time drawing at Jantzen Beach, which is the no-sales-tax mecca just across the river in Oregon. I was working quickly both because I needed to get home for dinner and that I was mindful of the fact that in the past 72 hours the leg, arm, and torso (with head and other arm and leg, in duffel bag) of this guy

had been found floating fairly close to where I was drawing.

2006-09-23T01:03:00.000-07:00

I've been delinquent. Actually, I've been working hard, just not outside with a pencil. This is another example of how I've been spending my days. I'll get out this weekend and get some more real art.

2006-09-19T01:51:00.000-07:00

Octoberfest at Mount Angel, Oregon
Went with the family to the last day of Octoberfest in Mount Angel, Oregon, one of the sweetest, quaint, oozing with gingerbready charm little German towns you can possibly imagine. Our only experience with Octoberfest before had been in Minnesota at the Gasthaus, where everything was in one big tent. The Mount Angel festivities spread throughout the whole town, so it was a bit much for the kids.
I drew the church tower while waiting in line with Sean at the cavalcade of inflatable edifices that were all located together on one end of town. Quality time was had by all.

2006-09-16T00:55:00.000-07:00

82nd & Taylor, Portland Oregon

2006-09-14T01:58:00.000-07:00

Trees

Sean had soccer practice just to the left of these.

2006-09-12T01:50:00.000-07:00

Too busy to draw today.
Well, I did this,
so I guess it counts.

Here's something from Sean(7)

and Molly(3)

You'll be seeing a lot more of them.

2006-09-11T00:13:00.000-07:00

Multnomah Falls
Spent the afternoon 25 miles east of Portland at Multnomah Falls. Stunning. The kids did fantastic, making the half mile trek each way to the falls like troopers. Greatly looking forward to getting back with pastels and good paper.

2006-09-09T23:25:00.000-07:00

Hazel Dell Tire Factory
Great place. Patched my tire and didn't even charge me for it. Hazel Dell Tire Factory. Go there for all your tire needs.

It's About Time

2006-09-09T09:46:00.000-07:00

This was supposed to start the Second of August, when we completed our move from Minneapolis, Minnesota to Vancouver, Washington. 7 states (Minnesota, South Dakota, Wyoming, Montana, Idaho, Washington & Oregon) in 6 days with me, Angela, Sean(7), Molly(3) and Lucy (Golden Retriever,9) was to provide a Jack Kerouacesque On The Road kickoff to the blog I had been wanting to start for quite a while. However, it's taken this long to get the mountain of boxes in the garage down to size, the kids in first grade and preschool, secure some form of employment, and feel like I could sandwich in a few moments to start.

I'm a painter, print/web designer and illustrator. You can see some work at www.3flynns.com. My goal is to post new art daily. I'm a reality-based artist, so all the work you see comes from the real world. That's where 'SlackJawed Midwesterner' comes in. Having spent my entire life land-locked, including the last 13 years in the frozen parking lot that is Minneapolis, I am very much in awe of the Pacific Northwest that I'm discovering on a daily basis. There will be sweeping vistas and tire store parking lots. There will be still-lifes from the kids' Pez collection. Enjoy.